The following “epic” poem is one of three that share a setting and verse structure. They are in the vein of children’s stories or fairy tales; this one is the most lighthearted of the three.
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Once upon a time
In the ancient hills of Myrr,
The goats ran free among the fields
The cats were heard to purr.
But in the village of Blyny
That day peace did not reign,
For the Great Army of Blyny
Was off to war again.
Likewise over in Karton
Which was just down the road,
The Bright Blue Army was ready;
All their gear was stowed.
They marched towards each other
Their faces solemn and grim,
And each one had a saucepan
On his head to armour him.
Then General Tommy of Blyny
Gathered his soldiers ’round
“Keep your swords in hand,” he said,
“We’re now in enemy ground.”
The brave warriors met in a meadow
They fought with sword and fist.
Pebbles flew from slingshots too
And not one marksman missed.
At noon they called a truce for lunch
They unwrapped bread and meat
And after they had finished,
They made their armour neat.
They fought again in the afternoon
For the honour of their town;
For the victors of this contest
Would earn the world’s renown.
‘Twas the Great Army of Blyny
With Tommy in the lead
Who beat the Bright Blue Army back;
A brave and dangerous deed.
Both sides went home at sunset
The warriors tired and worn,
All their hearts were heavy
As they stumbled through the corn.
Arriving at their houses
They were proved right in their dread.
When their mothers saw the state they were in,
They got sent straight to bed!
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